Well I guess we have had some exciting news around here! My ex-husband is now tring to get my daughter in his life!! He walked away from her ten years ago and now that shes having a baby he thinks she is just going to go running to daddy! Well I have never said anything negative to any of my girls about there fathers and now he is trashing me like normal and he thinks shes going to beleive everything he says. Guess what! not going to happen! I have always answered my girls questions about where there dad is, I always gave truthful answers without making them sound bad. I never wanted to be the mom that always talk crap about the babys daddy and then get mad when the child runns to daddy later and treats you like crap because you lied to the child. Children are not stupid they find out in the end.
I try and teach my girls lies just come back to bite you where the sun dont shine. Thats why I make a horrable lier. I just dont do it anymore cause its not worth it to me. Children always know who loves them and who is just lieing.
About Me
- JJ
- I am a single mother of 4 girls, ages 8, 16,18,and 20. I am going to be a grandma in May!
Hi Tracy,
ReplyDeleteSounds like your ex likes the idea of being a Grandpa.
Children will always know who loves them, but they seem to never give up wanting to know their biological roots as well. For health purposes, I guess they should know about genetics, but many times that is all they need to know.
I agree with your opinion of lying. It will always come back to bite you. The reason I don't lie is because I don't want it to bite me later, and I'm a terrible liar, too. I guess that's one good thing to be bad at, right?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your daughter can see right through your ex's BS. Sounds like her mamma raised her right, :)
Hi Tracy, I have three children from a previous marriage and they had a deadbeat dad. After our divorce he never saw them and never paid child support. He was like a missing link. I was remarried and my husband more or less treated them like his own, until he and I had a child and then that changed. But that's another story in itself. When my children asked about their biological father, I gave them small bits of truths and left out the bad stuff. Each became inquisitive at different times, mostly during their teenage years. I did was let them know where he was and they could contact him. I wanted them to know their dad, but not force him on them, or keep them away. I thought it was just a passing interest because of kids they knew from divorced parents. You know the "in and out" kids; visiting dad on week ends, extra presents at holidays. It didn't take long for each to draw their own conclusion that he was someone they didn't want in their lives and someone they didn't want to know. He passed away 15 years ago. I think, what a waste of a life consumed by alcohol that he could not sober up long enough to really know the joy that children bring to your life. Then I think, maybe he did.
ReplyDeleteHi Tracy:
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean, I have to children and their father does not call them or come to see them either. He did however, show up at my daughters high school graduation with his new wife and she refused to speak with us, but I told my children that one day when he is on his death bed he is going to want them to be by his side and it is up to them whether or not they go to him.
I agree that talking bad about the father doesn't help but it does hurt when the father and grandmother of your children talk bad about you and your family. I feel that in the end what goes around comes around and no matter what he will reap double of what he has put us through.
Keep your head up and stay strong you have a lot of mothers who are going through the same thing.
What I did was, I kept a binder with every visit and every letter and every cancelation of his visits and kept them for my children. Well yesturday when my 18yr old came home to visit she asked to read it! I let her now she know everything and she is soo mad at her dad. Someday you have to let them know what you have been through!
ReplyDelete